I learn something new everyday.

Today I learned why my school has been without Internet for almost three months.

The secret was let out when one of the math teachers started shouting at the principal during this morning’s teachers’ meeting (there’s one every morning at 8:20, which means I have to hotfoot it to get there on time - just so I can sit at my desk pretending to understand what’s being said). I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the sounds Japanese men emit when they’re angry, but in case you haven’t, just know they’re a lot like two dogs growling in defense of the brand new tennis ball at the end of the drive. The two varying dialogues are almost indistinguishable. The principal was literally barking at the math teacher. And the math teacher was yapping right back. I seriously thought they were going to throw knuckles. (Wouldn’t that have thrown a stick in the cog of Japanese “togetherness”?)

Oh, and here’s why Math Teacher got angry in the first place: The school’s principal had intentionally axed the Internet connection because Math Teacher had been using it to place bets on horses. I can understand why he felt wrongfully punished - it’s not like he was downloading porn or anything, right? I mean, c’mon, he’s a grown man, and there’s so much downtime in his 13-hour school day (spend doing jack), how else should he pass the time?




2 Comments for this Entry

japanese brenda
So is the betting back on?
BTW, I understand the futility that is the morning meetings. I usually try to picture the teachers naked. I either retch or laugh.
Thursday, October 19, 2006 - 06:44 PM

nolan
Yeah, hopefully I can throw down on those races too because I just spent 2600 yen on a stalk of broccoli and a bag of rice. What's up with that?
Thursday, October 19, 2006 - 11:01 PM

5:00 a.m.

I woke up to a public announcement. It was making circles around my apartment building (and the apartment buildings around mine). I couldn’t understand the message, as it was in Japanese and I was still mostly asleep. I ignored it altogether. Then, at 6:00 a.m., I was awoken in the same way: A man in a tiny car was shouting some kind of announcement through a megaphone (I’d gotten out of bed to see). What is going on?

These days I live in total oblivion. I am constantly confounded.
(I went back to sleep.)

When I got up to go to work, Nagahama appeared unchanged. But about one hour ago, during fourth period, I heard the announcement again. This time, the man in the small car with the squawk box was toodling about outside the high school where I work. The students immediately jumped out from behind their desks, raced to the open windows, and stuck their heads out to hear. Then they casually reclaimed their seats.

What is going on? I asked the class. Then, in their cryptically limited English, they said, simply, “Bear. Caught”--all in this annoyingly matter-of-fact tone.

Apparently a mid-sized bear had been traversing the streets of my town all day and everyone knew (because of the fella with the megaphone) but me. The guy in the car had been following the bear around Nagahama, announcing its presence to nearby residents, all day. That’s what woke me up at 5:00 this morning! It took the town all day to finally catch this bear and boot him back to the mountains on the outskirts of the city. Elementary and junior high school classes were canceled because of this bear-on-the-loose rumpus. What next?



5 Comments for this Entry

Ryan
your life is currently my favorite comic strip, i just wish it was a daily...
Wednesday, October 18, 2006 - 03:29 AM

Jacob
We're here! We're clear! We don't want anymore bears!
Thursday, October 19, 2006 - 06:58 AM

D'edward Deth
They should have shot the bear for its gall bladder and sold it to the Chinese, as is the style.
Monday, October 23, 2006 - 05:35 PM

nolan
Turns out they DID shoot the bear dead after it broke into two Japanese homes and attacked a police officer. As for the fate of its gall bladder, yeah, probably straight to Beijing.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006 - 07:59 AM

natalie
:(
Friday, October 27, 2006 - 11:22 PM

The Eternal Birthday Carousal

While our neighbors-to-the-north were fussing about with atomic nuclei, we were out on the town celebrating the blessed day of Northern-Irishman Mark’s creation. It was loads of fun (even in the foreshadow of wafting radioactivity).

Erin--the nice young lady who lives due north of me--and I made our way down to Kyoto Saturday afternoon, at which point we squandered a few hours spending money at the foreign foods store and the three-story Muji (kicky/geeky clothing store if you don’t know it).

Later we met up with the birthday-boy himself (Mark), and some of our favorite Shiga townsfolk, at Sanjo Bridge - the tried and tested rendezvous. (I still don’t have a cellphone, so I rely on the “spot” more than others.) We went to an izakaya for dinner (these are loungy places with overpriced, teensy orders of food). This particular izakaya was a self-proclaimed “sound bar,” which meant you could order specific selections of music with your food. I think someone ordered Waterfalls by TLC at some point, but it really wasn’t jump-starting the mood (I glimpsed Salt ‘n Peppa on the menu, and I kept my fingers crossed for What a Man).

At dinner I gave Mark his birthday present - a vegan Japanese cookbook I’d discovered earlier that day in a mobbed bookstore near Kyoto station (I picked up a second copy for myself). Mark’s also a vegetarian, which is nice. We shared some plates at the sound bar, although an order of croquettes turned out to be packed to the gunwales with--my favorite--ground beef. I had a few swallows before I even noticed (Mark feigned ignorance--a smart tactic in this country). He received other gifts: a nice bottle of wine from Erin, and I think a container of contacts solution from Stephen.


[ this is Mark, Erin, and Julie ]

After the bad izakaya food, we went to the convenience store, at which point Stephen and I shared a bottle of wine while we accrued a few other members to our gaggle (namely Katie and Salem - a delightful couple from Georgia, who told us stories about dodging regional trains in the mountains outside Kyoto).

Then--suddenly yet predictably--we ended up at a karaoke bar, toting bags of grog from the kombini, where we remained for just over an hour (thank god), singing an assortment of horse-and-buggy ballads (e.g. Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire). Unfortunately there was only one Meatloaf song in the entire catalog, and it wasn’t I Would Do Anything For Love. What rot.


[ me, Katie, Salem, Erin, and Stephen in room A ]


[ me, Katie, Salem, Stephen, and Mark in room A ]


[ me, straight-up refusing to sing this Shania Twain song ]


[ Julie annnd I-wanna-say “Curtis” (?) in room B ]

Karaoke was fun and stupid par usual, but we soon skedaddled, making a beeline for this little fifth-floor bar Mark had been going on and on about since he discovered the place one week earlier. Truth be told, I can’t fathom how we nosed out the joint because we had had a lot to drink (in spite of the half bottle of wine Stephen sloshed all over the floor of karaoke room A).

This bar that Mark had been hyping for days was a peewee hallway of a place (which made it ideal because we were able to take it over completely). When we arrived there were two or three people sitting at the bar, and they all wished Mark a bellowing happy birthday--turns out they’d been expecting him. Later, more Kyoto dwellers showed up with gifts for Mark! It was totally captivating to be received so warmly in what was essentially a small pigeonhole in Kyoto’s forest of urban muddle and cultural remains.


[ Mark and the bartenders, seized in a flutter of bullshit light ]

We basically spent the rest of the night in this place, playing Jenga with the bartenders and swallowing down shots of tequila each time the tower buckled (until--serves us right--we started buckling ourselves). We began taking frequent naps--we couldn’t simply go home because we’d missed the last train out of Kyoto--and lurching out into the streets occasionally to buy a rice ball from the kombini. We stayed there--pulling a Jenga block here and there--until well after 5 AM.





[ birthday party becomes slumber party (snap!) ]

At around 5 AM we knew we’d be able to catch an early-morning train back to Tehara, where Mark lives, about twenty-five minutes away. So we left the cozy Jenga bar, repeated a hundred goodbyes to the same five people, and journeyed toward the subway. On the way we encountered Carlos and Jesus, two men from Mexico whom were working in Hikone at the tire factory. They were friendly and we stopped to speak a few words in Spanish with them (Mark knew way more than I did). Eventually they got a little too friendly and started sweet-talking Keira, and since she wasn’t into it we moseyed on. (This is Keira on the left. She’s from Ireland, but not Northern Ireland where Mark’s from: Totally different country, he declares--again and again.)

We kept walking and ended up passing a puri kura stand (I have no idea to spell it)--essentially a Japanized photo booth. It factors glitz and glamor into the oh-so-dull passport-style head shot. Of course we had to stop (because Erin’s a total freak for these photos). I don’t know what happened to the photos we took inside the booth, but here are some we made outside of it....


[ I don’t remember the context behind this one.
We’ll call it, The Chase ]


[ Urban Camping ]



[ Time to Go Home ]

Enough said.



1 Comment for this Entry

Ryan

this sounds like it was well worth the hangover that undoubtedly followed it. i can't wait to visit you, i'm going to start looking into airfare this month!!!
Thursday, October 12, 2006 - 11:05 PM

Biwa Coup D’etat by Bicycle

This past weekend a group of us rugged language instructors set out on a 100-mile cycle trip around the largest lake in Japan, the abominable Lake Biwa. Just picture Lake Michigan. Now size it down tremendously and slap a bike path around it.... There you go.


We embarked from my locale, Nagahama, at 7:30 a.m. on Saturday, and from there we pedaled half the trip (about 50 miles) to a quirky traveler's inn, right on the lake, in a town called Omi Maiko. The downstairs lobby of the inn was some kind of folk cafe and was littered with Dylan and Tom Waits CDs and a slew of weathered acoustic guitars that anyone could pick up and play. (When we arrived that evening they were hosting an open mike, and many locals were there drinking beer and singing familiar folk tunes. So nice. Oh, and I befriended a stout little beagle who was tied up outside.)

At that point, most of us were pretty roughed up from sitting on a bike seat for almost 8 hours straight, so we headed straight to the noodle shop and then onward to a nearby onsen (bath house). The baths were so hot I could only bear to soak in them for 10 or 15 minutes, but it definitely eased my sore-bum woes.

To our delight, we discovered a 7/11 on the way back to the inn, where we stopped to buy ice cream and wine (but none of that weird Japanese "red wine" that's really just grape juice mixed with rubbing alcohol). The evening ended perfectly, drinking and eating on the beach with my newfound friends, and then afterward getting one of the best night's sleep of my life.

Most of us were up around 6 the next morning, and although the previous day had been sunny and practically cloudless, Sunday was looking pretty bleak. The sky was completely shrouded by grey clouds, allowing the sun to rise unnoticed.

We didn't get back on the road until 9, just as the rain started to fall. And even now (Monday morning) the rain hasn't ceased falling. So we cranked the rest of the way home cold and wet (my periwinkle-blue rain poncho worked for no longer than an hour), plowing our sluggish way into Nagahama by 4:30. That second day was so grueling that any of the more detailed memories I might have retained were probably lost (with a slew of my brain cells) during last night’s marathon bath.

Today I'm plagued by a pretty wretched cold, but I didn't fall into the lake or get hit by a truck - so I'm grateful for that. I just have to get through two more classes, then I'm home free.